M.I.A.

I’ve been missing in action from Big and Brave for a few months. Essentially, life just got too hectic! I was concentrating on my writing and simply ran out of time to blog here too. I intend to change that in 2010. I’m hoping to post here at least once a week. And as 2010 begins anew, it’s given me cause to sit back and think about what I want for myself and our family in the coming year. Here are some of my New Year’s Resolutions:

1. Family worship

Every year this seems to be on my list and every year it ends up a hodge-podge mess. I really believe in the value and power of family worship. A 5 minute active, kid-friendly devotional at the start of the day with the kids shouldn’t be that hard. But it is. With both hubby and I working from home and with unusual schedules we often tag team in the mornings. One morning he gets to stay in bed, the next day it might be my turn. It’s great to have a morning off but not so great for establishing a family worship time. The evenings are out as hubby is out most nights visiting people and doing Bible studies. So that means we just need to make family worship a priority and a commitment. My kids don’t watch a lot of TV, but there is one show they watch just about every day – Playschool. It’s simply the best program for kids under 5, in my opinion and is educational yet fun. That comes on at 9:30am. I’ve decided that the best way to ensure family worship happens is to have a new rule: the TV doesn’t come on until we’ve had worship. That way, Possum will be reminding me to have worship so he can then watch Playschool. Clever, don’t you think?

 

2. Find a community project for our family to be involved in.

I am a firm believer in developing a sense of compassion and service in my kids, no matter how little they are. I’m looking for something creative, long term and sustainable that we can do as a family as a mission project. I’d like it to be something practical and local so my boys can see why we’re helping and what we’re doing, but I’m struggling to come up with something. I firmly believe that helping others builds character in children (and adults too). Ideally, it would be something we could do at home…but what? Any ideas?? All suggestions are welcome!

 

3. Learn to be mentally still.

I’m not a hyperactive person. I can sit still, I can relax, I can chill – physically, that is. I have a much, much harder time turning off my brain. I suddenly realised today how much my brain flits from this to that and back again. I have a gazillion ideas, most of which will never come to fruition because they’ve been replaced in a millisecond by a gazillion more. There are so many things that catch my interest and my mind goes off on these wonderful tangents. Maybe it’s part of being a creative person, but I feel like I need to learn what it’s like to be mentally still. I need to give my brain a break. Some nights, especially when I’ve been writing, I can’t sleep because my brain is still whirring and clunking away like an out-of-control science experiment. I want to learn to meditate in a Biblical sense and to allow my brain to rest. I guess I think of the ability to be still – both physically and mentally – as a sign of maturity. I’m hoping I can use the time this year to work out how I can achieve that myself. I know it’s not going to be easy.

 

4. Start writing Morning Pages again

A few years ago, a dear friend of mine put me onto the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It was a very powerful tool in unlocking my creative desires and was instrumental in me developing the courage to follow my God-given talent and desire to being a writer. Cameron advocates the practice of writing Morning Pages every day – three pages of uninhibited, unplanned, unedited long-hand writing. Back then I wrote Morning Pages for a long time - six months, perhaps. But in the end, life got in the way. Right now in my busy life with three pre-schoolers, I don’t ever seem to have enough time to write and yet I have a need to write. I’m pulling back on my expectations and commitments professionally in order to keep my life in balance. I’m hoping that Morning Pages might quench my thirst for writing on a daily basis and yet be manageable. If my past experience is anything to go by, I’ll find them invaluable in many ways. Perhaps my first musings can be on the importance of being still.

 

5. Be gentle

After some challenging words from a family member, I recognise that sometimes I’m not gentle enough with my boys. It’s not that I have to ignore their misbehaviour, but I can deal with it differently. I know I am a strong personality, but I want to be gentle in my strength. Sometimes when the boys are pushing my buttons, my fear of losing control of the situation causes me to react more harshly than necessary. Possum was a very malleable child and easily directed when he was a toddler, but my twins, JJ and Moo are entirely different characters. They are very strong-willed and confrontational, even at 20 months old. (They are also insanely cute and affectionate and purely delightful!) If I’m not careful, I can be at loggerheads with them all day and feel like the only word I’ve said since they got out of bed is, “No!” I’ve decided to try a gentler approach with them both and already it’s working. They try and push me over the edge (they are clever little bunnies who know exactly how to get Mummy riled up) but remaining calm, unthreatened and gentle seems to diffuse the situation much quicker than hitting them head on. It’s not easy to change my response but it’s possible and I’m intending to keep on trying. Cutting back on my own expectations of what I can accomplish in a given day is also helping. Which leads me to my final resolution:

6. Balance

I take on too much, commit to too much, think I can do too much all the time. And although I am the one that primarily suffers when I do that, everyone else in the household pays a price too. They have to deal with a not-so-happy, not-so-calm, not-so-gentle wife/mother. It’s just not worth it. This year I want to give myself permission to slow down and keep things in balance. Yes, I want to be a successful children’s author, but it all doesn’t have to happen right now. I need to take my foot off the accelerator, invest my time wisely in my boys, in caring for my family, grabbing snippets of writing time when they arise and in getting enough rest so I can keep on giving. Balance is difficult to find, but I want it always to be on my radar, especially when I’m contemplating taking on something new. 2010 is my year for taking it slow.

A new year is a great opportunity to think about the changes we’d like to make in our lives. What’s on your list this year?

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